Genetic grief: a guide to cope with egg donation

How to cope with fertility treatment as a couple

Coping with fertility treatment as a couple is not just a medical matter. In our practice, we often see how the emotional impact can be just as significant as the fertility treatment itself.

As we have already mentioned, the key to coping with genetic grief or fertility treatment is communication within the couple. Sharing your fears helps your partner to understand your feelings and emotions; “what we don’t communicate doesn’t exist”, says Dr Santiago, so making time to talk, time to spend together as a couple, and making plans for both of you, helps to improve communication between you.

Supporting your partner means being there for them, asking how they’re feeling, expressing your own fears too, and maintaining a mutual commitment throughout every stage of the treatment. It’s not about doing everything perfectly, but about remembering that you’re both on the same team.

Is egg donation worth it?

Egg donation does not instantly eliminate genetic grief. It is normal to need time to accept that the path to motherhood will be different from what you imagined. But for many patients, that grief gradually transforms as they come to understand that the bond with their baby does not depend solely on genetics, but also on epigenetics, pregnancy, care, presence and love.

The testimonials from women and couples who have undergone egg donation often agree on something very important: the hope of being able to carry a child, care for them and build a family of their own. Therefore, rather than simply asking ourselves whether it is “worth it”, we must also ask whether this treatment can bring us closer to the life we desire.

From a medical and emotional perspective, egg donation can be a real opportunity for patients with low ovarian reserve, poor egg quality, advanced maternal age and fertility, or a history of failed IVF treatments. However, each case must be assessed on an individual basis. The important thing is that no patient feels she is giving up on becoming a mother, but rather that she is finding a possible and safe way to achieve it.